Elastic band in my eye

Hello,


So you know when you are sat at work, actually doing work for once. Being all professional on the phone and then your boss hits you in the face with an elastic band barely missing your eyeball... Yeah that. 

Source: cheshirecatstudios.com
Yep.

Source: somefoo.net

HA Ha Ha....

Not. 

Luckily I was on hold so my shriek was only to the soothing music of the council. 

It really isn't a rare occurrence  for things to just fly out of nowhere and hit me in the face. I specifically remember when I was at school Netballs seemed to be somehow magnetized to my face so that every time I played a match I ended up clutching my face at the sidelines pretty certain that my nose was gone. 

source: img.moonbuggy.org

At a music festival once, I was right near the front of the crowd watching the Scissor Sisters and everyone was happily bopping around and they started handing out water at the front so everyone crushed forwards. My hands were down at my sides so got trapped... A person a few rows in front of me threw the cup of water behind him and I saw it coming but was powerless to stop it. The cup didn't hit me though... No just a pint of cold water in the face. 

Source: idiomeanings.com

 REFRESHING

Another time someone was walking past me on the train and just hit me round the back of the head! 

WTF?!

Lastly, (this one happened to my friend but I was a witness) One day close to Christmas me and my friend were sat in the college canteen minding our own business while the rest of the college nommed on a Christmas dinner. We were probably either chattering on about Band practice or what we were going to do over the holidays... When from absolutely nowhere a brussel sprout came whizzing across the canteen at a million miles an hour and hit the wall about two centimeters from my friends face. Now i'm really not kidding it hit with that much force it stuck to the wall for a minute before falling off. The culprit was nowhere to be found... 

Source: freeimagesarchive.com
Sprout Ninja

Source: dooyoo.co.uk

People, please stop throwing stuff at my face. I know its funny looking but come on! 

Hope your week is going superbly! 

Love you!

Love, me

@nataliefurlong

Things I Hate

In my opinion there isn't much on this earth worse than the following:

Bananas

They smell weird, they taste weird, they look weird. The skin feels like dolphin. When you chew them more than twice they turn into slime, SLIME. Those little black seeds in the middle freak me out as well. 

source: stormfront.org

If anyone eats a banana within a hundred meter radius of me I can smell it and it makes me nauseous.  The only thing good about bananas is that you can draw on them, that can be fun.

Oh and apparently my banana bread tastes amazing, I've never eaten it so I wouldn't know. 

Lumps in food that should be smooth

Custard. I mean come on. Who wants to be eating custard and come across a hidden lump. This makes me want to never eat it again, its a genuine fear. 

Mashed Potato. The same rule applies as above, as for mince with mashed potato... well that's just a nightmare. Was that lump mince or was it potato. Oh hell no!

source: cheezburger.com

Gravy. Though less scary than mashed potato if I pour lumpy gravy I feel panic rising as it looks like there are tadpoles on my dinner. 

I know someone who once found a small green lump in her yogurt. I mean that's just the stuff of nightmares.  

Rice Pudding. So I understand there are supposed to be lumps in this, but just no.

source: simplyrecipies.com

Mayonnaise

Let me begin with the fact that if I ever see you dip a chip in this vile condiment I will judge you forever. 

It looks like jelly, smells like vinegar and egg and is also an unnatural shade of white. I've told you this before though here... http://furtivelittlefeelings-manic.blogspot.com/2012/03/condi-mental.html

Meat Jelly

source: alltheragefaces.com

This is my biggest horror. You know when you put a roast chicken in the fridge and all the juices turn to jelly. Horror of horrors. I can't even accidently touch it without breaking into a sweat.

Then comes tinned meat that has an intentional layer of jelly.

source: englishrussia.com

 

The above truly gives me the screaming heebie jeebies. 

Today at work was pretty dire so my head is a bit scrambled. The above list is not at all exhaustive, there is tonnes of stuff I hate. More to come. 

Hope your week has started well! 

Love you!

Love, me!

@nataliefurlong

Newcastle and The Late Shows

As some of you already know I went up to Newcastle this weekend to visit my super dooper friend Ellie ...

Because we are obviously both extremely intelligent and cultured individuals...

Note the size of Ellie's straw compared to mine hah!

We decided to go to an event called "The Late Shows" Which is basically where all the main museums put on really cool late night events to draw people in. I'm going to be honest the first part of the night was fueled by the wine we had drunk over dinner. Which probably explains the in depth conversion we had about a few paintings in the library... 

"This one is so sad, the space here is just very lonely and desolate" 

Ellie:"I like this one of the elephant"

Me: "I don't like how its tail is all straight"

Ellie: "That's why I like it, and it looks like its leg is broken"

source: urlesque.com

Anyway, we started off in a place called the 'Laing Art Gallery' which was basically all kinds of awesome. There was a huge makeshift tree and when you went in you cut out a leaf on two pieces of paper folded them and stuck the two pieces together along the fold, thus making a 3D leaf, which you then decorated with a uv pen. Oh we all know I took a photo so here it is! 

Tree from above. 

You then put a hole in it and hung it on the ribbons that were hanging down like so...

Ellie hanging her leaf on the tree 

Then if you like decorating things you can draw things on your hand... I saw one guy with glasses drawn on his face. Not sure what to say about that one. 

all kinds of awesome.

From there we made our way to the Newcastle City Library for a tour of contemporary dance. Which we both thought sounded amazing! Then three girls started walking down a huge staircase with books balanced on their heads and proceeded to fling each other around the room for about ten minutes. 

source:valeriemondesir.com

Alright it wasn't quite that bad, but I really didn't get it! So from there we hopped on a bus (if you had a glowstick the bus was free) and made our way over to the Toffee Factory which was less like this... 

Source: flavorwire.com

And more like this...

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We did know what it was going to be before we got there, but you just can't help hoping for a little miracle haha! The main room had Lady Koo and the Kooky Kitchen singing songs in the style of the 20s/ 30s while there was free tea and cakes being distributed. Which almost made up for the lack of chocolate river. It also provided much entertainment in the form of making up new words to her songs. 

Tea?

The highlight of the evening was walking along the river to get to the Sage, the views were pretty awesome and when we arrived we realised we were just in time for the Ukulele workshop! Oh yes we did, sadly no pictures to prove my attendance, we learned how to play Three Little Birds by Bob Marley which led to thirty people with zero experience were playing along and singing the chorus "Every little thing, gonna be alright". 

After that we had to sprint to get the last bus back into town, we decided to go wild and sit on the top deck and it was open top! Woo! 

source:  guidepostringway.northumberland.sch.uk
Yeaaah

It was a bit cold considering it was midnight. 

Source: screened.com

It was awesome though, the views crossing the Tyne were immense! So all in all it was a really fun trip, I'm pretty exhausted now though, i'm guessing it's all the culture. 

The Toon

The other main highlight being Ellie staging a reconstruction of her spectacular fall in the Metro station which actually happened during rush hour on her way home one day. 

So. Cool.

Hope you have all had a really good weekend! 

Enjoy your Sunday evening. 

Love you!

Love, me

@NatalieFurlong

Something for the weekend

Newcastle, I'm coming for you!

Source: http://www.leedsrag.org.uk/raids/past-raids/newcastle

If you are reading this today, (Saturday) and like me you don't work weekends. 

Source: comments99.com

Currently I don't have a hangover. Lets see how I feel after over an hour on the worst train ever in the history of the world. Some people call it a bus on tracks. I however call it... Shit. 

Now if you are just sat indoors thinking oh god i'm wasting my weekend not doing anything arrrgghh... Go OUTSIDE. No i'm totally kidding, stay inside and enjoy this little gem. 

You can be safe in the knowledge that i'm up in Newcastle making more ridiculous memories that will soon be on here. 

Love you!

Love, me

@nataliefurlong

Post work drinking

Apparently after a long week at work, two pints and a sambucca... thanks Nicole... 

Can make you feel a little bit... Uh... DRUNK! 

Outstanding.... (i've been home for  a few hours, had a curry and more alcohol) 

source: blogs.seattleweekly.com

Also, also, also... This week I gained my first ever 'fan'... ok it was someone at work who said the blog was funny. Even so, she gets a shout out because I love when people call me funny! 

You are famous now Cayler, ha!

I feel a bit incoherent now, more tomorrow.

Love you!!

Love, me

@NatalieFurlong

Walk, don't run!

Well hello!


So it seems the theme of these recently has been a lot about falling over. Mainly because I am a cruel beast today's blog is going to be about my sister and the most epic fall I have seen in a while. 


This was a few years ago and we were travelling back from a family reunion in Scotland...

This is a more recent reunion but ...you know!

We're driving back on the Monday after a pretty hectic weekend and my sister who apparently has the bladder the size of a peanut needs to use the loo... again. To say we stopped at almost every service station would be a pretty accurate description, and because I like to be  cozy bunny when I travel... 

Source: flickr.com

I was just wearing some baggy jeans and a hoodie. (this becomes relevant in a sec) So by the time we pulled into the service station my sister was wailing that she HAD to go NOW! To call the weather outside rain would be an understatement.  it was more like a river running straight from the sky. oh hang on that's called a waterfall.

Source: johncammish.co.uk

Out of the car we did leap and I instantly almost lost my jeans because I hadn't worn a belt because I am a logical lady. (seeee relevance!) My sister being the indiscreet darling that she is screamed about it to just about anyone within a 50 mile radius before creasing over and laughing hysterically. Awesome. 

Source: experiences.mediumintraining.com

Fear not though guys, like I have told you before. Karma is a bitch!

She turned to run inside (I should probably tell you at this point she was about nine  ha) and didn't see the path ahead was made out of tile. TILE. Have you ever heard what a child sounds like hitting a wet tile ground at speed? No? Go and wet your hands and clap really loud. That. 

Source: hahastop.com

Source: failin.com

Not only did this kid slap the ground she skidded at extreme speed for about ten meters, in front of a glass window, in the rain, whilst wearing a white skirt.

My Face
Source: alltheragefaces.com

Her
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Her Face
Source: Alltherageface.com

I picked her up/ peeled her off the ground and I'm pretty sure she was in some sort of shock because she didn't scream or cry, she just shook like a leaf in the breeze. I brought her some chocolate on the way out because guess what, i'm not a total beast. Oh how we laughed when she stopped shaking! (well I was laughing the whole time)

We all know who came out on top here. 

Hot. Abbie and Me!

ME!

Now that people at work are reading this I realise that it may not be such a good idea to carry on these shenanigans, because I have to face them every day. Oh well never stopped me before! 

Love you!

Love, me. 

@Nataliefurlong