Dear man on the bus home

Dear man on the bus, do you know that you smell of pork? Yes I was stood next to you and smelled your hammy aroma it took me a moment to work out it was you. You then pulled out a packet of pork scratchings (that's dried pork fat in a packet to anyone who doesn't know.) 

Now dearest man on the bus with long greasy hair, I am quite judgemental and I think you should know that eating your hairy pork fat snacks is not good for you or your aroma and is certainly not acceptable to eat on a bus. In future I would suggest only eating them while showering or drinking mint tea as your aroma of pork fat while on a warm bus home is almost enough to make me feel faint. Please in future try harder not to smell up the bus with your porky smell, thank you. 

In other news I had a picnic with one of my ace - est mates today and it was full of wonderment, the rat running past us as we were finishing didn't even ruin the mood! Haha, we rock.. you know who you are...