Squish the Spider!

Anyone out there afraid of spiders? If so raise your hand. 

It's not that rare to be afraid of spiders, what I do think is much rarer is the ability to come up with insane ways to try and trap/catch/kill them. A few years ago while living in a shared student house with this lovely lady, there was a spider situation... Everyone give Ellie a Woop Woop

Wooop Wooop.

So one evening I heard a cry come from her room, obviously because I am a big nosy parker I went a knockin'. There in the corner of her room was a HUGE ugly spider. I'm not going to put a picture of a spider because it gives me the screaming heebie jeebies. 

Just picture one. 

Not only was this spider huge, it had managed to find a lovely spot halfway up the wall right in the corner. A place that no glass could possibly capture it. We sat, we stared, willing it to move so we could cover it. Roughly an hour later it had not moved a muscle. Right get me a long stick or something I said, I'm just gonna smoosh it into the wall and end this madness! The best tool we could find at this point was an umbrella. 

Basically the plan was I would line up the umbrella on one of the walls scoot it along really fast thus squashing the spider when the end of the umbrella reached the corner. As I set up my heart quickened, my mouth dry and the hairs on my neck stood up. We stood side by side ready to face this demon, you could have cut the tension with a knife. I took a deep breath and made my move... Sadly I had misjudged the angle and before the umbrella reached the corner it basically just got stuck on the wall. 

AAARRRGGGHHH

With nothing achieved other than a strong taste of failure in my mouth and an indent along the wall I looked at Ellie ready to laugh, she looked at me, we both looked at the spider. Who chose that specific moment to leap from the wall to the floor. Naturally being the cool calm and collected people that we are I screamed and jumped onto the bed, Ellie screamed and used her slipper-ed foot to stomp on the spider. 

Right then, Well that's that. 

P.s. I do not condone the harming of animals, I am just terrified of spiders. 

Lets connect! @NatalieFurlong 

Day Off

Guys I totally love you all and thanks for clicking on here to read what is going on with me but...

Come back tomorrow. 

So much love! 

xx

Pickin' a Chicken!

Today guys, I have a question for you, how do you go about pickin' a frickin' chicken!? I was shopping today with my lovely friend Clare, everyone say hi to Clare... 

Hiiiii Clarreee

So after a lovely lunch we decided to go to the supermarket because she needed some good stuff to make Easter lunch with, Mmm. After missioning around the fruit and veg section of the shop in search of parsnips and a butternut squash we arrived at the chicken section. Now before we go any further I should tell you that although Clare and I have known each other for years and have even lived together at one point, we don't have the best track record for decision making. 

So here we are stood in the meat isle, looking at rows upon rows of dead chickens (yyaaayyy). How the fricking frack do you choose what you want? Corn fed, extra tasty, sage and onion, stuffed, not stuffed, free range, the horrific opposite of free range, small, medium, large or extra large! We picked up, examined poked and prodded about thirty of the best chickens that were on offer. Some were too puffy or the skin was too saggy. Some were too pale or too purple. One even looked like it had been run over by a car...

One that i touched had a pool of liquid inside the packaging but under the tray. (oh gaaaad). Anyway after what I can only describe as a lifetime a decision was made. 

Clare: I think I'll just get my mum to buy one. 

Me: Yeah that's probably for the best. 

Clare, please don't sue me for putting your face onto my blog. 

Additional Note: Clare got her hair trapped in the car door which I thought was hilarious but she wouldn't let me take a photo, don't worry guys I will get her next time. 

Peace x

Half Term

Ever tried to entertain a twelve year old on a rainy spring day? Don't even bother trying, the problem is watching someone be bored just makes me feel all the more bored! I decided to try and be a bit old school and get my sister to look away from her blackberry for more than three seconds. Dug out a stack of playing cards and let her have the choice of game. Jacks, Twos and Eights? Yeah ok I think I can manage that! Two games later she was flagging. How about Rummy? That was a game I taught her years ago and she was scarily good at it. Apparently she had forgotten everything, This is what I had imagined from this endeavor...

 

Never happened this way....

This is what ended up happening. 

Shockingly if you google laser beam eyes, mainly cartoons and babies come up?! Anyway if I could have I would have used my own laser beam eyes to explode the cards in her hands and end the game, I would have. 

Can you tell that I need to get out of the house? 

I did win both games of rummy tho, Yay for me. 

A Punny thing I heard today

I was shopping in Tesco earlier today and a child went running up to her mum with a copy of bee movie and said "I found one! Can I get it". Seeing as we were in the film section I assume she meant she had found a film she wanted to watch. 

The mum then sighed really loudly and said... Oh behave. ....

BEE HAVE I looked up like yyeeaahhh, but no. She didn't even know she had said it! 

        Bee have, pure genius and she didn't even know it. 

Mornings are not a good look.

The other morning I woke up and I couldn't see, feeling panicked and slightly trapped I reached up to check my eyes were still in their sockets 

 

Thank god they were, but what then was the cause of this haze that seemed to be impairing my vision, Guys, It was my own hair! MY OWN HAIR....

                                

            

This photo is 100% genuine I took it about a minute after I got up because I don't think I have ever in my life seen someone with bed hair this insane. I felt I had better post this as earlier today someone told me I had really good hair, which to be honest only happens rarely. I'm all for balancing out the universe and saying, yep sometimes I do have good hair. However i'm willing to bet that most of you don't have to tame it from this every morning. 

Oh to be a character from Glee.. 

Damn you Rachel Berry, and your perfect hair too!! 

What happened last night?

                                         

So yesterday I was sitting at home, bored bored bored and decided to send a slightly ambiguous text to a friend to put the feelers out and find out if she was free.. This is how that went...

Success, there is someone out there who is just as bored as me on this lovely sunny Saturday. Now I have plans in a few hours. Rather than get ready i'll just mess around on the computer until I realise that I now need to haul arse to get ready. Anyway haul arse I did, grabbed some sunglasses and my ipod and set off walking. Oh my lord was it cold out there. Damn sun tricked me. So I practically flew to the pub and on arrival obviously needed alcohol in order to warm myself up. It seems the best thing in this situation (4:30 in the afternoon) would be to share a bottle of wine, we both agreed. 

       +       +   =  

                                               

Allow me to swiftly add here that this is not us, I just googled drunk girls. (some stuff on there is not pretty so i'd avoid it if i were you).

We ended up staying till after ten o'clock and basically managed to chat about everything and nothing the entire time. So needless to say today I am feeling slightly wobbly but surprisingly good for what we managed to consume. 

I only realised I was drunk after purchasing the final bottle of wine and going into the toilets, one of which the floor was covered in sand?! Lesson for the day, you can drink WAY more when you are sitting down. 

So this morning I woke up feeling like nnnyyyaaahhh and text my friend saying... well you might as well see for yourself.

This was the reply. 

The text that followed explained this was a text she attempted to send me last night after getting in. 

I think from this that we have all learned that you should Drink Responsibly and if you can't do that, just go to your local pub get a table, get a mate and get bladdered. 

Happy Sunday  

Peace Love and Wine x