Gym facepalm

Tip of the day: 
Before you go up to a staff member of your local gym to ask a stupid question, make sure you don't know them. 

Source: Weheartit.com

Lets rewind. I go to a council run gym so there are three main ones that I can use I have been to the two others regularly but this one is a bit out of the way. However just so happens to be about a twenty five minute walk from my work. So being the dedicated little trooper that I am I decided to brave it and go to the new one. Go me. 

Source: theworldsbestever.com

Within five minutes I had already had to ask where I could fill my water bottle up only for the staff member to point to a water fountain directly behind me, Awesome. 

The first thing I thought on going in was where the hell is all the equipment there was hardly anything! One treadmill, one cross trainer, a few rowing machines and weight machines. Hmm now these gyms are small but this is just insane. I hopped on the treadmill though and tried to work out what was going down. 

Source : Divasayswhat.com

No, I totally didn't fall haha but you can bet that will be coming to a blog near you soon. From what I could work out there must be more gym equipment up the stairs but all I could see was weights and burly sweaty men. Bugger it I thought, I'm just going to ask. (That's how you know you need to be at the gym, when you ask whats upstairs rather than just walk up them to find out). 

You know when you start talking to someone and they turn round and your brain kind of melts because you know their face but you can't work out why... 

Source: iwastesomuchtime.com

I did the thing I always do in this situation, err pretend I don't know them at all, look at the floor mostly and just hope to god they don't say "why are you staring at the floor like you don't recognise me when we went to college together" Luckily he either didn't recognise me or like me prefers to pretend like he didn't. Rather helpfully I was dressed in camouflage Aka Bright red face and baggy gym clothes. 

Source: Explodingdog.com

Upon asking what was upstairs he kindly replied "just some more equipment and weights". So up I went. Basically the entire gym was up there, i'm talking rows of bikes, treadmills, crosstrainers, steppers weights and all manner of things I don't know how to use. Needless to say I felt a fool and as I was leaving I pretty much kept my eyes to the floor to attempt to maintain a tiny bit of dignity.

 

Had someone asked me that I would probably have laughed in their face and told them to go and have a look! it's a good job there are nice people out there! 

On that note. 

Goodbye!

Love you!

Love, me

@nataliefurlong

Not so Happy Mondays

"Oh when no ones yet explained to me 

exactly whats so great.

About slaving fifty years away 

on something that you hate.

Look i'm meekly shuffling 

down the path of mediocrity, 

Well if that's your road then take it
but it's not the road for me."

Sometimes Frank Turner just needs to be quoted on a Monday when you have a desk job. Roll on tomorrow... 

Source: Alltheragefaces.com

In other news, my absolutely awesome friend Becky Reid...

Becky!

Has had her second baby! Bearing in mind when I met this girl a few years back she struggled keeping a back on her phone, she now has the two most gorgeous boys in the world! I'm unbelievably proud! I know you won't read this for about six months because lets face it you have a new baby! I could also put a photo on here but its creepy if I don't ask first and guys she's just had a baby so back off! 

Here's a cute baby just to get you through these times. 

Source: 1funny.com

Love you!

Love, me 

@nataliefurlong

Lets Touch Base (this is not a euphemism)

Hey my lovelies, 


Today has been exactly what a Sunday should be, I got up late. Had my favorite breakfast which is currently a mug full of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes (dry) and a tall glass of milk with ice in it. You need to try having cereal this way, its frigging delicious.

So this shows it in a bowl, because I took this ages ago.
Have the cereal in a coffee mug.

Then me my mum and sister took a little jaunt...

Source: vocabmadeeasy.com

Into town for a wander, they both had to have an eye test. I didn't (which made me elated) because we all know how I feel about eye tests! If you don't then where have you been!? You need to look back a few weeks and there is a whole blog talking about it! Whats that? You want a link? oh, ok then. 

  http://furtivelittlefeelings-manic.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/sight-for-sore-eyes.html

I got myself some new headphones that i'm unsure if i'll actually wear outside...

I'm so cool the picture is in soft focus.

So yeah that's pretty much it for today, i'm having a few little drinks to round off the weekend, whilst watching Paul. 

 

Today's post is so short because i'm currently working on another little project that i'm a bit wrapped up in. I just wanted to touch base with you guys because I love you!

Hope your Sunday has been as delightful as mine. 

Love you!

Love, me

@NatalieFurlong

Free Pizza? Hells yes!

Hey!


So you know that feeling when you have been out drinking and all you want to do now is collapse, make the room stop spinning and eat pizza? 


Well that's what we are going to be talking about today! When I was at college, on a Saturday night it was fairly standard to find me and a group of my finest friends in a club in Middlesbrough known as the Empire. Just as a quick sidenote I am yet to find a club anywhere with the charm this place has, its an old theater so is super quirky. The main problems are just how damn hot it gets and the layer of sweat that tends to collect on just about every wall in the place. 

See that hand? Well that's me. 

God this beginning part was only meant to be tiny and now its dragged on a bit. ANYWAY the point I was trying to make is that on arrival back to my friend Ellies house (we always stayed there because it was so close) for some insane reason we would always try to find a pizza shop to deliver us food. This was at about 2:30 which doesn't seem that late, but hey the logical 24 hour drinking law wasn't in yet. Point being we used to go to pretty big lengths to get a slice of melty cheesy goodness after a night of dancing. 

Om Nom Nom
Source: pulsd.com

So me and Ellie both ended up going to the same city for university... 

Liverpool!

Source: liv.ac.uk

During one of our first few weeks there we decided to go for a night out, her university was kind enough to provide a night bus that would take you right into the heart of the city for free. (and they wonder why freshers don't show up to lectures). 

Excuse me for one second I just need to make my way over to myspace to find a photo from that long ago... 

*facepalm*

Anyway I decided to crash on Ellies floor that night to save money on a taxi and as we got into her halls, guys... guess what we could smell... We had no more money so couldn't afford to buy food and some beautiful thing was happening. The God of pizza was delivering us a gift... 

God
Source: marienelle.wordpress.com

We both were quite drunk so obviously had zero inhibitions about going to find whoever was eating this delicious late night snack to try and beg a slice. After just a few minutes we had located the correct floor and made our way to the kitchen, we knocked on the door and slowly opened it... 

Expectation
Source: ifood.tv

Upon entering the kitchen we quickly realised that there was no one there, however the smell of pizza was strong in the air... Someone came into the kitchen following us and we explained we had come in search of food. She said "Of course you can have some!" 

Source: crazyladywithapen.blogspot.com

She pointed to the kitchen worktop behind her... 

Not the actual pizza but you get the point.
Source: kimhopfphotography.com

It was burnt black, BLACK. We all had a good laugh about. You probably think we just left at this point. No... We took the pizza CRACKED it in half and ate any part that was remotely bite-able. I'm also 99% sure that whilst this was happening Ellie told me that carcinogens in burnt food cause cancer...

It was at this point we decided to leave the crust. Mainly because teeth were useless against its defenses! We then decided the most fun thing to do with said crusts would be to throw them against the bedroom wall and see how far back they would bounce. This caused much drunken laughter.

Source: Alltheragefaces.com

(I then had to sleep on the crumbs)

Ahh to be young, drunk and stupid again... 

This has just reminded me of another pizza related story

Coming Soon to a blog near you: pizza ended up face down on the floor whilst someone attempted to smoke a chip. 

Gosh this one has been long. I'm almost sure this blog will take me over 2000 page views (I'm currently on 1997) which is frigging amazing to me. Thanks to every single one of you who take the time to click and read this I hope it brings a smile to your face because I usually end up smiling as I write them. 

Should you feel like leaving a comment on here all you need to do is click the part directly under the post it will say a number and then comments (usually 0 comments) haha if you click that then it opens up the box that lets you leave me a little note! 

Love you (SO MUCH)

Love, me

Twittah: @nataliefurlong

What are you doing on the floor?

Its Frrrriiiidddddaaaaayyyyyy 

Yeah! 

Guys i'm feeling good today, its the weekend i'm wearing sweatpants and drinking a vodka and cake... urm I don't know where cake came from what I meant to say was coke. Eww vodka and cake would be pretty rancid. Though I did have a friend who did a shot once called Birthday Cake that had actual cake in it. 

This isn't it, I can't find a photo. But how amazing!
Source: Celebrations.com

She had a wheat intolerance so that whole thing didn't turn out so good. 

For anyone interested, work is going well! I finally seem to kind of sort of understand what i'm doing, it can be a little repetitive but there are much worse things in life than that! 

Moving on, 


I'm going to tell you a little story that happened to my Mum... 

Me Mah

So if you read about me falling off my bike a few days ago on here, this is another tragic story  that happened at the same wretched gate. 

Just to set the scene a little bit, it was a gorgeous summer morning and my lovely Mum was walking my sister to school, our dog Jazz was plodding along nicely off the lead enjoying a bit of freedom. (sidenote: she was never allowed off the lead with other dogs around because she was a bit of a doofus.) 

Purrdy

Then in the distance, my Mum spotted another dog. Being the super sensible dog owner that she is, she decided to gain some speed in order to catch little Jazzy pants to get her back on the lead. 

Jazzies!

HOWEVER 

A scene from a silent movie occurred. 

Each time my Mum managed to get closer, Jazz sped up, putting more distance between them. 

Mum sped up

Jazz sped up

Mum sped up

Jazz sped up.... 

Catch the pigeon

Just as she got close enough to clip the lead back on she leaned across to grab her collar and...

Disaster Struck...

All of a sudden she tripped, landed on her face and skidded enough to remove a large amount of skin from both hands. 

As she lay on the hard concrete she realised that the dog that was approaching was now almost upon her, and with that dog came an owner. Feeling fully mortified she kept her face pressed to the floor in order to avoid any eye contact with the man. He must have either been a complete douche or just kind, because he didn't say a word. Just walked past head held high as if nothing had happened at all. 

Just. Don't. Move.

In the meantime my eight year old sister had managed to dash forward and grab Jazz. Thank god for eight year olds. When she grabbed the dog, Jazz was more than happy and didn't cause any mischief what so ever. Other than whipping my sisters legs with her tail. 

Needless to say my sister was somewhat traumatised at this turn of events. Her mother was currently sprawled across the floor not moving what-so ever. A scared voice said "muuuum are you ok?" the reply came... "Yep, i'm fine no problems". My mum stood shaking like a leaf in the autumn breeze, clenching her fists trying to pick stones out that were now deeply embedded in her now bleeding palms. 

That's when the laughter came, slowly but surely.... 

Both started to laugh hysterically at what had just happened, the rest of the journey was filled with hilarity and a smidgen of shame. 

Have a super friday night!

  

Love you! 

Love, me

Me twittah: @nataliefurlong

Thinking of my Dad

Thinking of my Dad today. 


Twenty Four years ago today we lost an awesome Fella. 

My Dad is the dashing fellow with the mustache.

Photo taken at New Year in Glasgow.
Life is fragile guys. 
Treasure it.


Love you


Love, me
xx

When Bikes Bite Back

Is there anything funnier than when you try to bounce something on the floor and rather than bounce up it sticks to the floor like glue? 


Probably


But its still bloody hilarious. There are no photos or videos that show this, so if you have no idea what i'm talking about then you just have to take my word for it. Mmkay?


So something I have only told one person thus far, is a really stupid thing I did a couple of years ago when I decided to cycle to my sisters school to pick her up. It's only about ten minutes away but she was only nine at the time and I was being the nice big sister. 


It was a lovely summers day, you know the kind where there is a light breeze, the sun shining down making everything just feel better. I got my bike out of the garage, now I have always loved riding a bike. As a child it was how I got everywhere, well it was how all kids got anywhere fast really! 

Imagine.

So there I was cycling along, wind in my hair feeling like a child again. It's actually quite surprising how fast you can go on a bike and you don't even have to put that much effort in really! Anyway I realise my turn is coming up and its going from an enclosed lane onto a residential street so there is a gate in the way (to slow cyclists down) but if you are careful and get the angle right you don't need to stop. Hang on I'll see if I can find a photo of one... 

very accurate diagram 

Ok, I couldn't find a photo of one so here is a birds eye view of the gate. The arrow signifies the angle I would need to cycle in at if I wanted not to get off my bike. At first I thought to myself... Don't be stupid just get off the bike and walk it through the gate. Then i'm not sure what happened but something inside me said... You can do it man, just go for it! Believe in yourself! So go for it I did, as the gate got nearer I knew I had done it perfectly and smirked inwardly to myself. Why did I ever doubt my skills... ?

Roughly 0.325 seconds later I was laying on the warm concrete. Gravel digging into my face and my hand trapped underneath my bike wondering what on gods good earth had just happened. 

Noooo
Source: knowyourmeme.com

Oh yeah, I thought I was ten and could fit through a ridiculous frigging gate not getting off my bike. So as I lay there with my face buried in the concrete with that oh so distinct taste of shame on my tongue I began to survey the situation. Miraculously somehow there was absolutely no one else on the street I was laying on and no one on the street I had just come from either. 

Naturally I did the most logical thing I could think of. Get up, limp over to my bike and cycle away at approx 1000 miles an hour. All the while shaking like an absolute lunatic... I then started laughing almost hysterically which obviously helped to paint a well balanced picture of me to anyone who might have been watching me from afar. 

Reconstruction

I had come so close too, Guys I was only about a centimeter away from clearing it when the corner of my handle clipped the gate which sent the front wheel of my bike shooting round and sent me flying sideways onto the hard concrete floor. Just Awesome. 

Todays moral... Never underestimate the power of the gate. 

Love you, 

Love, Me. 

Twittah: @NatalieFurlong