Condi-mental

Anyone who knows me well, will know I have a severe hatred for something. Something I can only describe as my nightmare food. That thing is... Mayonnaise. I hate the texture of it, the smell off it. I hate it worst when it's in a jar. Why in gods name would anyone dip a chip into something that smells of vinegar and egg. WHY.


I was thinking about this the other day as I was making a tuna mayonnaise sandwich... Whhhaatt I hear you cry, yes, yes I know I am insane, well insane enough to be able to tolerate this vinegar egg mix but only when you add tinned fish to it. So here I am squeezing mayo from a bottle (I will NEVER spoon it from a jar), when this disaster happened... 

Now I realise that by admitting to the fact i can tolerate this condiment when mixed with fish may take away from quite how much hatred I have for it. But let me just explain a little further in that a few years ago when I was a student we used to play a game called "would you rather" Things like would you rather eat a strangers chewing gum from the floor or eat a cube of earwax? One that may help you understand me a little bit more was "would you rather drink a pint of mayonnaise through a straw or lick a sweaty mans hairy armpit" I choose armpit EVERY TIME! 


So that was going to be my thoughts on mayonnaise, Then I thought to myself hey a picture of me looking at mayonnaise would be funny to end on... So into the fridge I go to bravely face this beast of a food, then this happened!!! 

It knows I hate it! As I touched the bottle it flew from the fridge in a rage and hit the floor cracking and excreting that massive blob that can be seen above. You bastard. Now I have to clean it up, Not only that but this was a new bottle. So I had to get the old bottle from the fridge that had a tiny bit left wash it out, YES wash out mayo from a bottle, then worst off all transfer the sticky eggy vinegary mess from the cracked container into the new one. So i squeezed it to see if it was gonna be easy... apparently not as a massive blob divebombed onto my hand. Naturally at this point I was queezing and nearly fainting. Fear not though I persevered and about half an hour later I had managed it!... oh go on have a look.. 

                                           
I think the point of this post really is to tell you to BEWARE when you mock a condiment, they will come for you. In anyway they can. I have felt somewhat nauseous throughout writing this and now am almost certain I can smell it. *looks over shoulder*.  

I don't know about you but i'm not sure the above photo was worth it! I do however think we have all learned something today. 


Enjoy your day! 
Twit me up! @NatalieFurlong