Tortilla Face

So today has been a bit of an average Sunday, got up and went to Asda to do some food shopping (why do people get so craaazy about shopping on a Sunday?!)

Then I came home and decided to make some coffee cupcakes (which I haven't yet iced, but here's a photo of the ones I made last time... you know just for effect.

I know right?!

Anyway guys, you know I can't lie to you. I feel I should tell you that I may have had some wines tonight so this blog isn't coming to you from a place of sobriety. It's coming to you from a place of love. My love for wine and most of all my love for you! 

Yaaaaaaaaaay

So here's the thing right, the thing is this. Once you have eaten fajitas for dinner and you have a couple of left over tortilla (how do you spell that?!) wraps left, what do you do with them? Make a wrap for lunch tomorrow I hear you cry? No. No what you do is using your teeth you bite two holes for eyes and a hole for the mouth and place it over your face. A little bit like this. 

Check out the puff of hair at the side.

 Then what you do is creep upstairs holding it over your face like so...

And call your 12 year old sister out of her room just to see her reaction to it. She opened her door a bit and looked out because I called her. Rather than just letting her absorb what she was seeing I shouted RARRRGGHHHH then this happened...

Ok that's not my sister but that's what her face looked like, A few hours after the event I asked her to pose how she felt when she saw me and i'd say this is fairly accurate...

So basically she looked terrified and slammed the door in my face, then I collapsed on the floor laughing for about five minutes. I thought I should probably share this with you all in case you had a slightly stale wrap in your cupboard and a slightly evil need to scare people. Something I have always had in built in me.

Once I jumped out from behind the sofa when I was about ten years old at what I thought was my Mum, but actually turned out to be my seventy year old aunt... Who told me I could have made her drop dead of a heart attack. (It clearly never put me off though). 

Also you know your day is going to be a bit weird when in the morning you try and eat your cheerios with a fork. I swear, I took this photo mainly because I thought you guys would appreciate my stupidity. 

Anyway guys although today has been fairly uneventful, it has been funny. So cheers! 

Yeah Cheers!

Peace. 

Tomato Face

So here's the thing, I know I said I would write something yesterday but guess what? I got drunk instead. 

*knock knock* Anybody home?

Ok so that picture is relevant because I took it when drunk. I find the fact that I am cross eyed mildly amusing also. 

Guys what shall we talk about today? Climate change, Politics, TV? Naaah I'll just tell you something else that's embarrassing about me. Basically ever since I could run around I have been the kid with the bright red face. Now I know i'm not the fittest person in the world, however i'm talking about something that has effected me since I was a mere sproglet. 

To illustrate my point looky here.

Point one: Yes they are power rangers costumes. 

Point two: Look at every other persons face and how its not bright red

Point three: Look at my tomato face. 

 

Guess what else is awesome about having a face that goes bright red like that? It's not just when your hot. No... No it happens when you are embarrassed, when you are lying and when you are annoyed. Just awesome. So as quick witted as you can be, there is nothing that can save you from the red that radiates your face.

"are you annoyed?" 

"no, no not at all" 

"then why is your face bright red"

".... I'm just err hot"

Want to know the very worst thing about being a blusher? Lets do a little scenario, imagine in the below photo that my friend Caroline has just come over and said to me "Ha Nat you're blushing!" Even if I were to object to the statement, Even if i was never actually blushing at all...

Everyone say Hi to Caz, she'll probably hate me for using this. 

.... 0.3 seconds later =

BANG

Tomato face.

Even the thoughts of posting this is giving me a faint tint of the tomato. I don't even need to look in the mirror guys, I can feel the heat radiating my face. No wait maybe i'm just too hot. 

Sometimes as i'm writing this stuff I realise i'm giving people ammunition to use against me for the rest of my life... Yet i'm still here writing. 

Makes you wonder doesn't it?

Googling tomato face just isn't as funny as you'd think. 

Also I really need some photo editing software, just imagine the photos I could manipulate with that! 

Peace. 

Let's just chill today

Hey! 

Lets just chill today ok? 

I need to make some lunch and go to the gym, 

More tomorrow 

Love 

x

P.s. Twittah @NatalieFurlong 

Teenage Adventures

Tomorrow is a sad day, Clare who you may have seen featured in this blog a few times over the last few weeks is departing to go and live in paradise for a few months. I'm not kidding. I won't say where she is off to but when you Google it this picture comes up...

So when I say sad day, I say it in a purely selfish way. Anyway to mark this occasion I thought you guys might enjoy a little story from when we were seventeen/ eighteen. Does anyone out there remember this band? 

The Calling! Yay

If you don't then this will probably jog your memory...

Really skinny guy with a surprisingly deep voice. So Clare, Ellie and I being the wild teenagers we were boarded a train to Manchester to go and see them at a gig. We decided that it would be a super good idea to make a sign to take with us... Yep we were those fans. 

Guys i'm sorry to drag you into this humiliation. 

No i'm kidding, we were the fans that decided to take a massive bit of cardboard halfway across the country. It was decided that the best idea was to write a lyric on the sign so that we didn't appear to be like the above fans. Stop stalling Natalie. Ok here is the sign we made...

I've Pushed To Get Through The Crowds Of Twisted Souls

I was fixing Clare's Ipod the other day and she pulled it out, to be honest I had completely forgotten about it... Oh my god I have just remembered that on the train on the way to Manchester a man whacked me round the back of the head as he walked past, on purpose! Hahaaa. Bastard. 

There was going to be a funny photo of someone saying ouch here.

 Do not Google ouch nothing good will come of it 

*faints*

Back to the gig, So there we were just you know, pushing to get through the crowds of twisted souls. What we hadn't really anticipated was the fact that our sign was only relevant for roughly 1.5 seconds of the entire gig so we had to hold it on the floor in front of us, all the while being jostled by all the fourteen year old children who had also gone to see them. As our moment approached I felt the tension rising, what if we did it at the wrong moment, what if we dropped it and missed the moment. Looking at Clare for the signal... Boom the sign was aloft at the exact right second. Guys, Alex Band the lead singer totally acknowledged us and it looked a bit like this.

Totally worth it. 

I haven't told you the best bit yet. The back of the sign, because we are awesome. 

As we were walking to the gig a nice young man shouted something about needing balls. delightful as ever. Here's the thing though, what are those golf sale signs about? There can't possibly be that many golf sales going on all the time! What is it code for? I just really want to know. 

Aside having to sprint through what felt like the entire of Manchester to get the last train home and almost dying of thirst all the way back on the train. A good time was had by all. 

Clare i'm gonna miss your face, (even though I hate it). 

Clare and cake

Peace 

x

Pain in the Gym

Today I finally, finally managed to go to the gym for an induction (hoorah)! I had anticipated some form of severe humiliation happening which was going to be the feature of this blog today... However it went surprisingly well except for two little things. 
Number One
The induction man took my blood pressure with one of those arm cuff things, oh we all know how this blog works now so here's a photo! 

Except his didn't have a little pump thing he just pressed a button and it did it automatically. Now I remember having had this done before that it gets really really tight... HOLY HELLFIRE I thought my arm was going to explode and not only did he do it once, he did it three times! It actually got to the point on the first one where I almost said this is seriously about to crush my arm off. I'm fully surprised that my blood pressure wasn't through the roof, mainly due to the fear the tight cuff of death struck into my heart. 

Much like the fear you would feel if this were you.  

Number Two

So I don't know about you but my relationship with headphones (or should I say earphones, which ever the small ones are that you put in your ear) has never been a particularly good one and this is for a few reasons. Firstly I always find them tangled in a horrific ball whenever I pull them out of a drawer, bag or even pocket so that ten minute walk where I was supposed to be listening to music to either cheer me up or chill me out is spent in frustration tackling this...

Feeling like this...

I know... the likeness is uncanny. 

Secondly I always manage to get the chord wrapped around something and then the earphones get unceremoniously ripped from my ears. This friends, is what happened to me at the gym today. Twice. Both times I was trying to adjust the bike seat and as I lent down the chord saw its opportunity and wrapped its self around the seat and as I stood... boom out of my ears they did spring. The first time I tried to be a good sport and chuckle, the second time I said "oh for F" Ahem remembered I was in a gym and stopped myself. 

I was feeling rage. 

And lastly, this one is really more of an argument with mp3 players in general but earphones transmit the sound so i'm just going to go with it. The moment when one song ends and you are eagerly awaiting the next thinking "Will shuffle finally read my mind and put *insert song* on next!?" and not only is it the song you least want to listen to but its one hundred million times louder than the song you just had on which usually makes me believe the earth has begun to explode and for a split second I almost just hit the floor.  

yep.

If you don't hit the floor, most likely you try to quickly extract your mp3 from wherever it is, thus catching the cord on something (probably your hand) and ripping it from your ears. See? Nobody wins. Ever.

On a lighter note just a quick thanks to everyone who takes time out of there day to read this! If you have clicked here from Facebook and like it feel free to either leave me a comment or a "like" on there or even below this post! Also should you be feeling generous you could click the share button on Facebook so that all your mates can read this... whatever this maybe! 

Love you all 

Peace 

x

Sight for Sore Eyes

Familiar sight? Then congratulations you have been to the opticians and if you were lucky you have perfect vision. Unlike me. When I go into the opticians for a sight test and see (what I just found out is called a Snellen Test) on the wall, I pretty much instantly start trying to memorise it because well lets face it when they make me take my lenses out in about a minute and a half this is what i'm going to have to contend with...

Except not even that does it justice really, because in truth the only way I'd know the E at the top is if I had memorised it a minute earlier. Although it shouldn't be, admitting you can't see anything on the board is just plain depressing! So then if you are lucky they sit you behind a big contraption that flicks through different prescriptions while you try your hardest to squint without the opticians noticing. 

Its an O, No actually I think it's a C. Yeah a C. No! It's a D. 100% (the only reason you know this is that handy dandy tip of memorising the letters earlier on). So on and on the test goes, you quickly realise you are losing to the optician as the lines get smaller and smaller and more blurry. Then comes the dreaded Red or Green test. 

"Which is clearer the read one or green?"

Errrm Green

Ok how about now (they change something in the machine) 

Red

Now?

Green

Now? 

Green

Now? 

Both the same

But if you had to pick one as being clearer

But they both look the same...

But just if you had to pick?

Errr Green?

This back and fourth exchange usually ends up with me in a guessing game trying desperately just to make it end! 

I know you are probably thinking, it's really not that bad. Ok maybe for most its not but for me its only been fairly traumatising up to this point. But then...

Ever stood this close to a stranger whilst they peer into your eyes? Well then you have never lived, this has to be the most awkward moment of the whole thing when your lovely opticians face is so close to yours you could give them an Eskimo kiss if you moved too quickly. Delightful. Possibly one of the hardest things not to laugh at, much like when you were at school during an assembly and you got a fit of the giggles during the most solemn silent part... Once I got that close to laughing right in the opticians face I had to break the tension by asking, "Do many people laugh right in your face when you do this?" Answer "All the time!" I must say I felt like I had the best self control at that moment. I am the biggest giggler ever! 

Anyway as much as I have moaned and groaned about having to get a sight test, I thank everyone that helps to give me the gift of sight... Yaay 

Hold on a sec. I bet right now you are thinking, in the second paragraph she said if you are lucky they sit you behind a big contraption... (if you weren't thinking that then now you are) But what I hear you cry... What is the alternative?

There are no words.

Peace x 

A Funny Thing!

This will really only make sense if you love Mean girls and The Hunger Games and because I love both I really felt the need to share it with you. 
Someone has come up with a tumblr called Mean Girls of Panem and man it is bloody hilarious. You need to check it out... Click click click! 

http://meangirlsofpanem.tumblr.com

Its Sunday so that's my only excuse for not doing a proper blog. 

Just a quick thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this it means a lot :D 

Proper love ya don't I!

 

xxxxxx